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Grounded
Fiona Keller • February 21, 2021
Hello dear friends. I’m so glad you stopped by. Let me wish you a heartfelt Christmas season blessing. May you experience a deep-seated joy this season. One not found because of the abundance of privileged living, not because of the splendour of activities and beauty of lavish decorations….though may you find enjoyment in these things and a heart filled with thanksgiving for them. But may you find the life-giving joy that comes from knowing that you are known and loved by a beautiful, wonderful, Father and Saviour. I think, this year probably more than most, is a year when we so desperately need to tap into this joy and into the peace that it also brings. If your holidays have been stream-lined and brought to a place of simplicity, may you experience rest for your soul. May you experience the gift of time for pouring into life-giving conversations and relationships...even if that is over a screen. And my friend, may you be blessed with the gift of hope. Hope for the future, which keeps the light burning within us as we wade through times of darkness and struggle.
Sit with me awhile. Can you breathe in some stillness? Can you close your eyes and just let go? Just relax. Can you look out your window and take in something of the beauty of creation? Join me on this wintry day, the snow has fallen outside and it is cold. At least, cold outside. The heating is going, there are blankets and sweaters and fuzzy slippers surrounding me. I can admire the beauty of the white blanket that has enveloped my outside world, all from the safety of my cocooned inner world. I have pondered these past weeks about the words I could write, that they would mean something and not just be clutter filling a void. I have thought about the abundance of articles written in time for the holidays, bringing our focus onto the true meaning of the season, of the encouragements and seasonal salutations, of the writings looking to the future and the new year ahead and reflecting back on what has been and I find myself wondering, what do I have to say? What can I say that hasn’t been said a hundred times before? The answer to this question may, of course, be nothing. Maybe my message is one that has been heard time and again and maybe it serves a purpose in that. But maybe in our conversation, we might give an ear to the Lord for a quiet nudge of something He wants to share with us.
“Quiet” is a relative term in my house. It really is something that only truly occurs for a brief time after everyone is asleep - usually temporarily. During the day there is a constant barrage of sound. Machines rumble, voices echo throughout the house, footsteps pitter patter or probably more accurately thump with a sound that is more akin to that of a herd of elephants passing by. Objects clatter, phones ring, bleep and beep. Alarm clocks go off at unexpected times and ring continually until I can find the room they are located in. TV shows get turned on and left running, video games blast, violins squeak, pianos plonk and guitars send vibrations through the walls and the floors. Questions, conversations. I love it all….most of the time, except for the moments when I’m ready to tear my hair out. I’d give anything for a moment of peace and quiet. A chance to sip a drink while it’s still hot, to read a page in a book without interruption. Thinking space is hard to come by on a regular basis.
This constant hailstorm of noise and information has been intensified this last year, courtesy of the additional time we’ve spent together. The time together is not something that I’m sad about, on the contrary, it has been enjoyable a lot of the time, but it has made me aware of a shift in thinking that needs to happen - at least within my own life. A change in the way I work, do life and most importantly walk with the Lord. During these months of noise, I have found the Lord teaching me about an inner quiet and more about inviting him into every corner of my life. There is importance in silence and solitude. Uninterrupted conversation with the One who keeps the world spinning, mine, yours and everyone else’s. The reality, of course, is that silence and solitude is not always easy to create. A chance to get away from it all, is nye impossible. For many right now, these things I crave are a heavy burden. People alone and desperate for noise to fill their homes. So, it is with eyes open that I pen these words, recognizing the challenge I face is not the challenge of another.
Never has the divide between extremes been so palpable. On one level, I am grateful for my noise. On another level, I am desperate for the chance to hear myself think. I would give anything for a piece of your quiet and you’d give anything for a piece of my cacophony. And still, we find ourselves here. Unable to change where we are and who we are with or without. So, in this unchangeable place that I find myself, I must find a way to embrace it, live it and love it. I must find an inner quiet that can resonate in the chambers of my heart when all around me the humdrum continues. I must find a silence within my mind that tunes out the bombarding, attention demanding distractions that relentlessly pursue a part of me. Somehow I need to enable that quieted mind and overflowing heart to relentlessly pursue a relationship with my Saviour with that same vigour and determination that my smallest child uses when she wants to hold onto me. Father, help me! It sounds so easy. But it seems so impossible. Like I’m standing at the foot of a mountain. Quiet, stillness, in my heart and my mind? Finding You in the laundry pile and the homework? Never have you, Lord, seemed so near and yet so far out of reach! But I know, that really you’re not. You haven’t gone anywhere.
This is where I find myself. Trying to embrace during this present season of life. Coming to a place where my communion with God is not limited to the place that I am in. It walks with me throughout my day into every nook and cranny. Changing everything about every moment. It is in the thick of the battle field. Believe me when I tell you that my home looks like a war of cereal and pillows, with landmines of building blocks thrown in.
There’s a grounding that happens in our lives when we fill moments with God, like somehow the feet of my soul have rooted themselves down deep and the storms can swirl around me and the noise can be like thunder, but that anchoring will not be moved. A peace and a calm, which is not based upon that which surrounds us. It allows us freedom to move through our day a little lighter.
It all sounds quite idyllic really. Peace, calm, grounding, freedom. Who wouldn’t want that? The problem that I find before me, is, of course, how exactly we achieve this. That is, if it is something to be ‘achieved’ in the first place. I certainly don’t profess to be an expert in this. Far from it, a veritable novice. I am typically easily swayed by the winds that blow and undone by the storms that come in. I struggle to find time for prayer and reflection, never-mind deep biblical study. It is in this place that I come to feel that there must be a better way and upon this quest that I start to find tools to help me.
To find rhythms and ‘rituals’ in my spiritual life, I am coming to recognize a need for them in my daily life. Not in a legalistic fashion - and I must guard against this - but in a way that brings windows of opportunity for engaging with the sacred even within the most unholy confines of my quotidian life. Whilst my day is never going to run on a military schedule, it can nevertheless have recurring moments and themes that facilitate moments of divine connection. Coffee and a page of an inspirational book to start my day. Five minutes of my time. Maybe longer if I’m lucky. But brain fuel, as well as body. Words written by far holier, far more devoted, educated and connected people, but words that can inspire, that can give my mind thinking fuel as I commence the tasks for the day. If habits take time to establish, then starting small, seems a good place to begin, because surely trying to turn myself into a chant-singing, Bible-reciting scholar, with the patience of a Saint, is not going to happen in one swift go. For the years I have spent cultivating the many unhealthy habits that I possess, I can guarantee that the adoption of new, life-bringing ones is likely to take a while. ‘Small’ means I don’t give up in defeat when I fall at the first milestone.
I have recently discovered the beauty of liturgical prayers. I have not spent much time in churches that embrace a full liturgical life, so this is a newer experience to me. Though I have made use of pre-worded prayers before. These have been especially helpful during the (many) times that I have found myself without words to pray or with so many words that I don’t know where to start. I have also found a beauty within these prayers, not only for helping me express my heart but also to calm my mind, attune my senses and bring a focus to my thoughts. Like a delightful piece of poetry, these prayers bring enjoyment, fulfillment and grounding. There is also immeasurable comfort in realising that many of these things I feel and think are also thought, felt and expressed (!) by others. I am not alone. I am joined with the rest of humanity in my humanity.
Snatching a moment to read through a prayer. In a minute. A quick, short minute, while I fill a cup, wait for a kettle to boil, eat a sandwich. Moments in time when I can engage with the Lord and keep my heart and mind attuned to higher things. I find that when my focus is….where it should be…then, perhaps unsurprisingly, I have a little more grace, a little more patience, a little more hope, a little more peace, a little more direction, a little more determined, a little more engaged, a little more aware of the Spirit’s prompting.
Little by little these treasures have opportunity to grow. Not because of any huge change that I have made, but simply because I have started to find the beauty in continued connection with the anchor holding me fast. That continued connection becomes something I crave and desire. The more I experience it, the more I want it and because it grows gradually at a pace I can sustain, it grows with me and I with it. The temptation to feel dissatisfied in ‘slow and steady’ is rendered empty because I not only learn to appreciate the blessings in journey, avoiding feelings of not being enough, but I see forward movement in the continual flow of conversation, the spoken and the heard. Does that mean that I won’t slide backwards ever? Not at all. Of course, there will probably be many days and seasons when I don’t have my priorities in order, when I choose to forgo connection for the sake of something else. There will be time and again that I blow it. But the wonderful thing about God, is that He will nevertheless be there waiting for me.
May I encourage you? Encourage you to find your moments? To look for opportunity through your day to snatch connection and to find the rhythms that work for you? Your ‘thing’ may not be coffee and a book. Maybe yours is in walking through your garden. Maybe yours is in baking treats or painting pictures or knitting socks. Maybe that is where you find your minutes and moments to connect with God. But I am certain, as you allow the rhythms to hold a place within your life, the grounding too will come. The peace, the steady drip drip of living water. So, my friend, in the midst of the crazy, the noise, the endless demands, let me offer you this assurance: God’s presence through it all and His gentle quiet that can fill your heart, your mind and your soul.
Father, I thank You for these man-made shells, which become our homes as they fill with noise and laughter, silence and tears, memories and hopes. I thank You for their protection, for the safety found within. I thank You for the life that grows surrounded by these walls; a place we make our own. Amen
When complaints often come easier than thanksgiving - I thank you Father for these dishes, which signify food and drink aplenty. I thank You for each mouth that partook of meals together. Amen
Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance. Jude 1:2 Most gracious and loving Heavenly Father, I thank You for You have sustained me through this school year. I thank You for Your provision of strength and energy even on the hardest of days. I thank You for walking with me on the mountain tops: the moments of joy, the times of bonding and fellowship, the times when the learning and the teaching came easily. I thank You for journeying with me through the valleys. On the days I wanted to give up. During times of frustration and grumblings. On the days when learning was hard and teaching even harder. I thank You that I never left the shadow of Your wings and that You have seen me, valued me and noticed me as I have sought to lead and serve my family in this way. Lord, we are nearing the end of this season and oftentimes feel the increasing need for rest, for reprieve and refueling. Some days Lord, it feels like summer will never come. And yet some days time flies and I become aware again of the limited time I have with these dear ones whom I am not only tasked with teaching, but also with parenting and loving. Father, it is my desire to finish well. That we will not succumb to wishing away the time together, nor give in to half-hearted efforts put forth. Help us to find balance between being present in the here and now and thinking ahead to plans for the summer and next school year May You continue to be the source of my daily strength and joy. Remind me of my calling to teach during this season and equip me each day to face challenges with grace, love, humor and humility. Renew my spirit and uplift me as I seek to lead these children towards You, keeping my mind focused and my heart seeking You above all else. In Jesus' name Amen