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The value of a good friend
Fiona Keller • October 23, 2020
Good morning my dear one. Welcome, come in. The rain is pouring and I am relishing the feeling of comfort as I sit in warmth and look out the window at the beautiful shades of colour on the trees. I love the reds and yellows of autumn. The inspiring landscape that is created by this palette of colour. The shades and hues only seen at this time of year, fleetingly at that, for they don’t stick around long. Enjoying beauty all the while knowing that a starkness is coming. A sense of brooding as the landscape falls into slumber in preparation for new growth and it’s awakening once again. Join me, if you will, sipping mugs of soul-warming hot drinks and looking outside.
Friendship - like the blanket that I wrap myself in: warm, inviting security. A feeling of safety and comfort not only on the rainy or windy days, but also on the days when the sun is shining on those crisp autumn days.
Do you have one? Or maybe two or three? Friends that is, not blankets?.... Though I hope you have some favorite blankets too! I’m not talking about the myriad of ‘friends’ we have on social media or the dozens of ‘friends’ we have at church or the co-workers whom we know more about than just working together but the friendship or acquaintanceship remains at a superficial level. I’m not talking about the fair-weather friends who are around while life is rosy but conveniently disappear when the frost sets in and the blustery winds start whipping around the corner. I am talking about the people in your life who you probably couldn’t shake off even if you tried! - not that you'd ever want to. They are the people who rejoice with you on the mountaintops and mourn with you in the valleys. They are the people who see you in the pit and throw a rope down to pull you out. They show up in the crisis and take over the helm. They inspire you to be your best self and love you enough to challenge you on your journey. Have you found your tribe? They may be few in number but they wield a power that no army could contest with.
A need for friendship seems to be built into the framework of who we are. We were made for community and relationship. My all time favorite books are the Anne of Green Gables series. I could read and reread these books. They warm my heart. To this day I find them relatable with timeless truths woven in the lines penned by a gifted writer. One of the parts I love the most about these books are the friendships Anne forms over time. Her 'bosom' friends. These characters walk life together, they stand fast through life's raging winds. They love, they laugh, they support, they put up with the rough edges and through this they grow a depth of love and understanding of one another and of themselves that brings joy to their lives and a security they wouldn't have had without it. These are the friends who maybe you don't see for a while but when you do it's like no time has passed. If you're fortunate enough to have these friends around you in your day to day living, I encourage you to thank God for this wonderful blessing.
Friends are a blessing. They are so often God's hands and feet. Sometimes his mouth too. Have you ever just received that 'coincidental' message from a friend who just said something that you needed to hear at just the moment you needed it? Isn't it wonderful? If these things I'm describing seem to be missing in your life dear one, do not fear. I promise you, you are friendship material…. Never let that lie permeate your skin. I have found that whilst sometimes friends just kind of show up…. Actually praying for deep, meaningful friendships is a powerful way to open doors to new growth in relationships. Now don't expect your friends to fill voids that only God will fill or to live up to misplaced expectations, but do trust God to use them to grow you, to minister to you, to encourage and uphold you.
Of course, friendship is a two way thing. It would be very easy to sit here and expect another to do all the work, put in all the effort and to just receive blessing without extending it. That, however, is not the nature of a relationship. It is there to be a reciprocating connection. We can learn this through the way God interacts with us. He teaches us about different relational qualities, from parent to spouse to friend. He never stops being God. Supreme King, Ruler over all, Creator of everything. He also never stops wanting to sit down for coffee with us and talk. As we look to Him, we can be inspired to be a good friend. To be 'that' friend to another. I'm talking about the solid rock, in it until the end kind of friend…. Not the 'that' weird and wacky friend we all love! Though maybe we are both! We see an abundant need of servant-heartedness and humility. A willingness to sacrifice our own conveniences sometimes in order to offer a met need to someone else.
I think sometimes on our journeys, we do also have to take stock of our inventory if you will. To prayerfully evaluate the relationships in our lives and to ask God to show us where change is needed. To have confidence in Him, if He calls us to step back from or away from certain friendships, which do not set us on the right course. To allow us to invest our time wisely. To steward not only our time well, but also our emotional resources. Sometimes this is probably easier to do than others. In this world ‘friend’ has become a bit of a ‘throw away’ sort of term used to describe all manner of relationships with the hundreds, if not thousands of people we interact with in person and digitally. If we do not exercise caution and allow God to hold the scale and the sieve, we stand to do not only ourselves a great disservice but also those people to whom we ourselves have become a member of their tribe.
Can I encourage you on your way today? Take a moment of gratitude today for your friends, no matter how few in number they may be - and reach out to them. Let them know how loved and appreciated they are, because we all need to hear that sometimes.
Father, I thank You for these man-made shells, which become our homes as they fill with noise and laughter, silence and tears, memories and hopes. I thank You for their protection, for the safety found within. I thank You for the life that grows surrounded by these walls; a place we make our own. Amen
When complaints often come easier than thanksgiving - I thank you Father for these dishes, which signify food and drink aplenty. I thank You for each mouth that partook of meals together. Amen
Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance. Jude 1:2 Most gracious and loving Heavenly Father, I thank You for You have sustained me through this school year. I thank You for Your provision of strength and energy even on the hardest of days. I thank You for walking with me on the mountain tops: the moments of joy, the times of bonding and fellowship, the times when the learning and the teaching came easily. I thank You for journeying with me through the valleys. On the days I wanted to give up. During times of frustration and grumblings. On the days when learning was hard and teaching even harder. I thank You that I never left the shadow of Your wings and that You have seen me, valued me and noticed me as I have sought to lead and serve my family in this way. Lord, we are nearing the end of this season and oftentimes feel the increasing need for rest, for reprieve and refueling. Some days Lord, it feels like summer will never come. And yet some days time flies and I become aware again of the limited time I have with these dear ones whom I am not only tasked with teaching, but also with parenting and loving. Father, it is my desire to finish well. That we will not succumb to wishing away the time together, nor give in to half-hearted efforts put forth. Help us to find balance between being present in the here and now and thinking ahead to plans for the summer and next school year May You continue to be the source of my daily strength and joy. Remind me of my calling to teach during this season and equip me each day to face challenges with grace, love, humor and humility. Renew my spirit and uplift me as I seek to lead these children towards You, keeping my mind focused and my heart seeking You above all else. In Jesus' name Amen